


Side Steps

by CrazyTaraWitch



Series: Finding Someday [2]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/F, Fluff, Swan-Mills Family
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-06
Updated: 2016-05-31
Packaged: 2018-04-30 07:53:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,257
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5156051
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrazyTaraWitch/pseuds/CrazyTaraWitch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Natty,” Emma prompts, “Can you say hi to your Mama?”</p><p>One tiny hand lifts from its spot on Emma’s shoulder and begins to wave, flapping quickly in growing excitement as Regina returns the gesture with her spare hand. Tears are filling the brunette’s eyes now so much she can barely see, but she resists closing them for fear that she won’t be able to open them again, or that when she does she’ll be alone. It’s only when Emma reaches down and wipes the tears away with her thumb that Regina lets her eyes drift closed as she leans into the gentle touch.</p><p>When they open again moments later, her family is still there, smiling down at her and keeping her safe.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story is basically the fluff-and-angst of First Steps without the angst. Expect sickeningly sweet Swan-Mills family goodness, with a hint of awkward idiots as our ladies work towards realizing how stupid in love they are. Updates will likely be sporadic, because working 6 days a week with jobs that require me to flip my sleep schedule twice a week leaves me little time and less energy for writing. Also, I have absolutely no plot planned or end-point in sight, so after the first couple of chapters expect it just be a series of randoms scenes (or side steps!) that pop into my head.

_“Emma.”_

Her heart stops at the sound of that voice. Even hoarse from nearly a year of disuse, it’s one of the most beautiful sounds she’s ever heard. Tears are falling again, but Emma doesn’t notice, too focused on staring at the face before her, the dark eyes looking back into her own.

 

“Emma,” Regina repeats, voice stronger this time.

 

The blonde reaches out a hand reverently, but as soon as her fingers brush against Regina’s cheek she pulls away, jumping up as if burned. Within moments Emma is out the door, Regina’s brow furrowed in confusion before her eyes drift closed in exhaustion.

~*~*~*~*~*~

“Regina. Regina, please wake up,” the voice pleads. She sounds faded and far away, like a light through a fog.

 

“Please Mom. Just open your eyes. Please?” His voice cracks on the last word and her heart aches at the sound. Henry. Her little boy, frightened and needing her. He’s three and had a nightmare; he’s six and fell from the monkey bars; he’s eight and got picked on at school; he’s eleven trapped in Neverland. He’s her baby and he needs her and nothing has ever mattered more. She squeezes the hand in hers as tightly as she can and struggles to open her eyes.

 

He’s taller now, longer and older and so grown up, but he grins at her and her heart swells like it has every time he’s smiled at her since he was 3 months old.

 

“Mom,” Henry whispers, almost disbelieving.

 

“Henry. Oh Henry…” She feels a sob bubbling up inside her, but before she knows it her son is engulfing her in a giant hug, her sob muffled against his neck. He’s gentle with her, but his hold is tight and it takes Emma pulling him back for him to let go. Regina almost resents her for it until she sees the worry in her eyes.  
  
It’s only then, when she really looks at Emma, that she notices the squirming bundle attached to the Sheriff’s hip. A little girl with dark hair and bright eyes, chunky legs wrapped around Emma as if she belongs there. “Regina,” Emma says shakily, stepping closer, “this is your daughter.”

 

Henry is still hovering over her, but he lets go of her hand so she can reach out to the child before her. Her baby, hardly a baby at all anymore but more beautiful than she could have imagined. Regina rests a hand against her thigh, the only part of the tiny body she can reach, and she’s given an uncertain smile in return.

 

“Natty,” Emma prompts, “Can you say hi to your Mama?”

 

One tiny hand lifts from its spot on Emma’s shoulder and begins to wave, flapping quickly in growing excitement as Regina returns the gesture with her spare hand. Tears are filling the brunette’s eyes now so much she can barely see, but she resists closing them for fear that she won’t be able to open them again, or that when she does she’ll be alone. It’s only when Emma reaches down and wipes the tears away with her thumb that Regina lets her eyes drift closed as she leans into the gentle touch. When they open again moments later, her family is still there, smiling down at her and keeping her safe.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Emma and Henry both refuse to return home that night, not that Regina fights them very hard.  
  
It had been nearly midnight by the time Emma had sprinted out of the hospital to grab the kids, and despite his excitement it didn’t take long for Henry to fall asleep once nurse Angie brought a recliner for him. The baby, who still rarely sleeps through the night, is now happily sitting in Emma’s lap chewing on a book while

Dr. Whale examines Regina for the third time since she woke up.

 

The brunette’s exhaustion is beginning to show, and it takes all of Emma’s self-restraint to keep from kicking the doctor out of the room so she can rest. Finally, he puts his pen light away and tells Regina he’ll be back in the morning, and Emma heaves a sigh of relief.

 

“You should get some rest,” Emma suggests. “We’ll still be here when you wake up.”

 

“I… I can’t yet,” Regina admits, looking slightly ashamed. “I’m too afraid.”

 

Emma reaches out a hand and grasps Regina’s tightly, heart swelling when she feels the fingers beneath hers return the grip. She understands, even if she wishes she didn’t; she can’t imagine sleeping tonight, can’t take her eyes off Regina for even a moment for fear that this is all just a dream.

 

“Okay… Maybe we talk for a while?” Emma suggests uncertainly.

 

Regina nods. “So, ‘Natty’?” she asks curiously.

 

Emma blushes lightly. “Short for Natasha, Natasha Zelena Mills. After Natasha Romanoff. I know it’s silly.”

 

Regina cocks her head, considering.

 

“I know it’s probably not what you would have chosen,” Emma continues awkwardly, “but she reminds me of you, and she’s super badass, and I thought you’d like the kid being named after someone strong and awesome.”

 

“Emma…” Regina swallows, watching how the blonde holds Natasha close, one hand absently rubbing soothing circles on her back. “Her name isn’t Natasha Mills.”

 

“Oh.” Emma’s face falls. “I’m sorry. You had never said a name, and we couldn’t just keep calling her Baby. I’m sure you could change it,” she offers quickly. “She’s not even a year yet; she could learn a new name. You don’t have to call her Natasha just cause I did.”

 

“Emma…” Regina reaches out and squeezes the younger woman’s hand for the briefest moment before letting go. “You have **nothing** to apologize for. Her last name isn’t Mills.”

 

“Hood? Seriously?” the blonde balks. She quickly composes herself and asks, “Did you change your mind about contacting Robin?”

 

Regina rolls her eyes. “Her name,” the Queen announces firmly, “is Natasha Swan-Mills.”

 

“I--what?” Emma splutters, dumbfounded.

 

“You have been raising her for a year, Emma. It may not have been anyone’s choice, but as far as that little girl is concerned, you’re her mother. I see the way she looks at you, the way you hold her close. I can’t… I won’t take her away from you, Emma. I remember what that feels like. She is my daughter and I want nothing more than to raise her, but whatever future we have, you’re part of it.”

 

Regina watches the younger woman’s eyes fill with tears and instantly fills with regret, wondering what she’s done wrong.

She overstepped, she presumed too much. Just because Emma loves the baby doesn’t mean she wants to be her mother. How could Regina be so stupid? Imagining Emma and Natasha sitting like this on Christmas morning, pretending that Emma would continue to live at the house as she had for the last year and a half, didn’t make it real. They would go back to their own separate lives, sharing Henry, the occasional lunch, and a weekly family dinner. Perhaps Emma would be around more now to see Natasha, but that didn’t make them family. _Stupid, stupid, stupid._

 

“I’m sorry,” Regina quickly backtracks, fishing for an excuse. “I-I’m not myself yet.”

 

“You… You didn’t mean it?” Emma asks slowly. _Of course she didn’t, you idiot._

 

Regina’s heart breaks at the way Emma’s face falls. She looks so empty now, hands dropping away from the child on her lap as if already distancing herself, forcing herself to withdraw from what can never be hers.

 

“I meant it,” Regina admits with soft sincerity. “If-if you wanted me to.”  
  


  
“I -- Yes.” One arm reflexively wraps back around Natasha, but the other reaches for Regina, fingers instantly intertwining as if they’ve done so a thousand times before. “There is nothing I want more than to raise our children with you.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've had most of this written for months, but it's still short and I'm not really happy with it; the dialogue at the end feels especially clunky to me. But a not-great chapter is better than none, hopefully?  
> I wish I could say there won't be this long a gap between chapters again, but writing hasn't really been working lately, so I can't make promises. I do have the next two chapters loosely planned, so this definitely won't be the last of the story; it may just take a while.

_ Our children _ .   
  
  
The words run through her head a thousand times over the next few days, bringing a soft smile to her lips every time.

 

Regina Mills had learned long ago to cling tightly to what mattered, to hold on with all her might lest it be ripped away. She had spent decades lashing out at anyone who tried to lay claim to what was hers, most especially her son. Regina Mills did not share or give away what was hers.

 

But now she finds that she wants to share with a certain blonde idiot who loves their children as much as she does.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
  


It’s 4 o’clock in the morning when Regina wakes to Emma whispering. The nurse had just left after taking her vitals and she had clearly startled the blonde awake. She keeps her eyes shut, pretending to sleep still, and listens closely to heartfelt words.

 

“I was so mad at you, Regina. I was scared and sad and I missed you, but I was angry that you left us--angry that you left me. And how could you leave Henry? When you know what it's like to be unloved, unwanted; how could you leave our son?" Regina is certain her heart must weigh a thousand pounds in this moment; breath is caught in her chest, and for the first time she feels a hint of shame at her choice.   
  
"But she was worth it," Emma continues softly. "I get why you did it, because nothing could be more worth it than her.” She sighs lightly. “I know you didn't **want** to leave Henry, I know it wasn't your choice; but when you've spent your whole life wondering why you weren't enough and then the one person you thought..." Emma trails off, as if even in this moment with only herself and the moonlight total honesty is beyond her. "When someone else leaves, it doesn't matter why, it just feels like it's your fault. We've both spent too much of our lives feeling worthless; I don't ever want our kid to feel that way.  
  
"Just don’t leave us again, okay?" Emma pleads. "I guess this last year taught me that we can do it without you, but I don’t want to. Our children need you; they deserve to have their mom, and damn it, I do too.”

 

“I’m not going anywhere,” Regina whispers. “Not without a fight.”   
  


Emma startles, but she doesn’t pull away when Regina reaches out and rests her fingers lightly against the younger woman’s arm. The blonde stills under her touch and after a few moments brings her other hand to rest atop Regina’s.

 

“I won’t let you go again,” she promises into the night.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Regina can tell it’s morning from the light streaming in through the windows of her now-familiar hospital room, but she pretends to remain asleep when she hears hushed voices. 

 

“Emma, it’s been nearly a week, you need to sleep,” Snow chastises.

 

“I  _ am _ sleeping.”

 

“In a  **bed** ,” her mother counters firmly.

 

“Look, if the baby’s too much I can set up her travel crib here, and Henry can take the recliner, but I’m not leaving until Regina does.”

 

“I’m not going to make a 14 year old and an infant sleep in a hospital,” Snow states with a sigh, “but you shouldn’t be sleeping here either. Regina has nurses checking on her all hours of the night; she’ll be fine. Go home and rest.”

 

“I’m not leaving her.” Her voice leaves no room for argument. “I won’t let her slip away again.”

 

“Emma…” Snow’s voice is full of such sympathy Emma nearly feels sick. Her voice says that she knows there’s more to this, but Emma can’t imagine what secrets her mother thinks she’s discovered.

 

“Mom, I get that you don’t get it. I get that you’re worried. But I’m fine. Right now, this is where I need to be.”

~*~*~*~*~

It’s a quiet Tuesday when Emma stops by for lunch, a drowsy Natasha settled into her stroller with a brightly coloured blanket held firmly in her grasp.

 

Regina reaches out and strokes Tasha’s forehead with a look of longing, but she doesn’t ask to hold her. Emma pulls a chair up next to the bed and Regina offers her a weary smile.

 

“Dr. Whale says I should be safe to go home tomorrow.”

 

“That’s great!” Emma beams, brimming with enthusiasm the brunette knows she should share.

 

“I-I wondered…” Regina pauses, fidgeting with her sheets as she looks away from Emma. “Will you stay?”

 

Emma’s face falls. “I hadn’t really… There’s still a room for me at my parent’s place; they keep saying they’ll make it into Neal’s room, but they can’t stand to have him that far away. I can… stay there, until I find my own place.”

 

“And if I wanted you to stay?” Regina murmurs, still refusing to meet the other woman’s gaze.

 

“You would want that?” Emma asks softly, and when green eyes meet brown there’s the same mix of hope and fear in them both.

 

Regina smiles faintly when she sees her own vulnerability reflected back. “Yes, Emma; I would want that. I know you probably won’t want to live with us forever, but it would be nice--for Henry and Natasha--to have you there, at least for a while.”

 

“I’m not ready to leave them,” Emma admits.  _ I’m not ready to leave you _ , she doesn’t say.

 

Regina’s eyes shift to her daughter, now sucking on a corner of her blanket as she drifts off to sleep. “I want to be her mother,” she murmurs, “but right now I’m a stranger. We can’t do this without you.”

  
“You won’t have to,” Emma promises, hand reaching out until their fingers entwine.

**Author's Note:**

> I have rejoined tumblr as CTW-writing. At this time I intend to use it purely as a place to post my writing (and possibly the occasional rant about writing), which is 90% Swan Queen. While I love SWEN dearly, since I’m trying to avoid everything related to season 5 I probably won’t be following many --if any-- SQ blogs.


End file.
